It's a girl thing

Caitlin is now almost 16 months. She is stubborn, loves food more than any child I have ever seen and typical of most girls, she is emotional. Almost every situation ends in a screaming and crying...see the tear above? At times such tears are justified and other she is a great actress.

When I am discouraged, I often find myself thinking, why can't she be like Carson and then I remember that Carson is the way he is partly due to age (it helps big time when they can actually talk) but the other important part is that we are raising him {hopefully} to become a Christ-like child and have already invest more time into him.

This week I had an ah-ha moment and realized that instead of comparing the two children (soon to be three) that I have because they are and will always be individuals. Diversity is important, just as the role of mother and father are different, they are that way for a reason. Perhaps Caitlin's emotional side will help her to be more sensitive to others. However, it is not up to me to decide this.

As a mother my job is to teach them, nurture them, love them and guide them through this life...and that is just what I will do!

Confidence

Carson playing at a friends and Caitlin is asleep. My plans were to take a nap too but there is a jack hammer working loudly busy building houses behind ours so my idea of a nap will have to be only a dream-boo!

Sunday night I was having a particularly bad evening. Caitlin wasn't happy (but was loud!) with anything we did. We put her down, she wanted up. We picked her up, she wanted down. I was feeling overwhelmed, under-accomplished and a little depressed.

Specifically, I was thinking to myself that I can barely get anything now and school is a breeze, how am I to get though a tough semester come Fall? I have been through the ringer with this nursing program and I always want to give up {I think any rational person would have by now}. I am sure we have all felt this way form time to time and I am no exception. I do my best but sometimes it seems like it isn't good enough!

Then I remembered a talk that I read here about opposition. Paraphrasing, it said that opposition can happen at anytime and anyplace..."It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage. It can occur in situations related to your family, Church callings, or career."

It went on to say that once you have made a decision beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now.

Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness.

Face your doubts. Master your fears.

“Cast not away therefore your confidence.”

Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

I found these words uplifting and encouraging. I know that bad feeling come from the adversary and he wants us to feel hopeless, lost and confused but we have to fight off such feelings...and count our blessings!

Individual Worth

Lately I can't stop thinking about self esteem or what seems to be the lack of it. I have been aware that women especially are self deprecating and this has been bothering me. It doesn't matter how pretty someone is, how stylish they present themselves or how accomplished they are they are always putting themselves down even and it seems especially after a compliment. This is troubling to me. I am aware that the media has great influence on how we view ourselves and often we tend to compare ourselves to others but we shouldn't. We should realize that what the media portrays often isn't realistic. It could be that one receiving a compliment doesn't want to appear rude, but a simple thank you would be better than fault finding with one's self.

This scripture keeps running through my head:

"The worth of a soul is great in the sight of God."
D&C 18:10

This semester I am doing my rotations in mental health and this past week I had my first opportunity to be around the "mentally ill." This was an eye opener for me because naturally my classmates and I were a little nervous, nervous because such patients are unfamiliar to us. As the morning began and I was meeting these people it occurred to me that I had no reason to be nervous. After spending some time with them I had such admiration for them and love. By love meaning Christlike love. It occurred to me that everyone is special and should be treated with the same respect and kindness regardless of their mind, body, or so called status in life. I feel that if we would all make more of a conscious effort to focus more on others instead of ourselves we could and would make a difference in the lives of others.

With that said, we are all good at something. Instead of comparing ourselves, because let's face the facts, someone might and most likely always will be better than us but that shouldn't be our focus. We should focus on becoming the best person WE can be.

Days Alive

957

9,788

11,040

Just some random numbers?

Well that too, but each number above is how many days that Carson, myself and Andrew have been alive. At first glance the numbers (at least the second two) and at least to me seemed to be rather large but when you think of them in dollars $9,788 or a $1 a day for every day alive it doesn't seem like a very long time at all.

Upon discovering how many days old we were I couldn't help but think of that in the eternal scheme of things we are just babies and that our time on this earth is precious and that although we feel that we have been alive for forever, with a heavenly perspective we know that our time on earth is really only a blink of an eye.

Which brings me to my next train of thought, are we doing all that we should/could to make our days count? Just food for thought.

P.S. We calculated that Carson will be 1,000 days on Feb. 28th and provided that I am not in the hospital having a baby (I really hope she comes before that!) we are thinking of having a little celebration....kind of like an un-birthday party or something just to mix it up, why not right?!